Monday, January 17, 2011

Frustrations of a breastfeeding mom.

I am breastfeeding my beautiful baby girl, who is such a good baby and I am so glad she is mine! I just love her to pieces. She is so much fun! So about my frustration... for the first 8 weeks Ahnika breast fed like a champ. But then for some reason she started only eating from one breast during a feeding and it didn't matter how hard I tried she wouldn't eat from the other breast. And she would get mad and freak out if I tried to get her to eat more. :( I would have to alternate breasts and be lopsided for the next few hours until she ate again. But at night if I was lucky I could get her to eat on both breasts and have a full feeding, which makes me happy when she does that cause it means she will sleep longer. Well this past week she has been fighting me and refusing to eat at all ugh. So I would think well maybe she isn't quite hungry enough to eat yet, then I would lay her down and she would act hungry and cry. So we would try the whole process again. But she would still fight me even though she was hungry. Finally she would latch on after I pretty much shoved my boob down her throat. Sorry that sounds awful. Anyway after she latched on she would relax and eat and I could get her to eat on both breasts. But each time she wanted to eat it was the same thing a big traumatic experience.
One night I just broke down and bawled because I felt rejected by my own child and it was like 3 in the morning so I was really tired. After I calmed down and was determined to get her to eat she latched on and then went back to bed. A few times when Jeb was home he would hold her head still so I could get my breast to her mouth and then she would finally latch on and realize that she did want to eat and start eating. Well after having Jeb hold her head a couple of times she started latching on by herself with out needing to be fought with. I don't think she liked him holding her head. Which I felt bad that we had to do that, he didn't hold her head real hard just enough that I could get her to latch on. I need 3 hands sometimes. I promise we aren't being mean parents, we are just trying to get her to eat. It's been about a week or so of this going on, But yesterday and today have been much better. She has actually been latching on without a fight, sometimes I can get her to eat on both sides without a problem but other times she refuses, so instead of fighting I figure she must have eaten enough. I have read that a baby can get a full feeding from one breast but it's important to offer both breast at each feeding. So that's what I do even if she refuses to eat more.
I am just glad she is over refusing to eat at all (at least I hope she is over it), I want to breastfeed her for at least a year. Jeb keeps telling me I'm doing a wonderful job, that I am a great mother and not to get frustrated. He is such a good husband, and I believe what he says but sometimes it is so hard not to get frustrated. Sometimes I would like to just give up and feed her a bottle, but I really don't want to give up yet she is only 3 well almost 4 months and I would really like her to receive breast milk a little longer. I hope this all makes sense. I feel like I've just been rambling.
If anyone has any suggestions/advice about breastfeeding I would love to hear it. Motherhood is so rewarding and I am so grateful for this opportunity I love my little girl so much! As I type she is laying by me falling asleep, she is so precious!!


  1. So I don't really know you, but I know Jeb & I really feel for you on this subject so I hope you don't mind if I throw in my advice! I had problems breastfeeding both my kids. I had many nights of breakdowns and crying, so don't think you are a bad parent, it is normal! One thing that really helped me was I went to a lactation nurse. We were lucky enough to get one through WIC for free, but the hospital should have a lactation clinic or you can google it and find one in your area. It may be that your milk has a slower let down, so she doesn't want to eat at first because she is getting impatient if the milk isn't coming fast enough. One thing that can help that is hand expressing some milk before you put her on to feed, that also helps her get to the fatty milk faster. The first part of the milk is thinner and can me more acidy and it may even upset her stomach, so by hand expressing that will help her get to the hindmilk faster. I know this seems like a lot of info, and there are so many different things you can try and you really might just have to try everything until you figure out what works for her. All babies are so different, but don't worry, I am sure you are doing a great job. Another thing that really helped me was a website called they have all sorts of information available. On the top of that website is a tab called "Jack Newman articles" if you click on that he has a ton of helpful information, even videos about different problems you may be facing. IT really helped me a lot. Good luck! And, if you need some more help, feel free to call or email me!
    Chrissy Davenport
    GOOD LUCK!!!

  2. I think we all have trials with breastfeeding. It can be hard! I have to use a shield with Owen, like I did with Lola and he does the one side only thing sometimes too. It sounds like things are going good now but if she starts up again, the lactation specialists are great. If she refuses all together at some point then you can always pump and bottle feed so she still gets breastmilk. But you are doing great and I hope the good eating continues :)

  3. Breastfeeding can be so hard! I think you are doing great and it sounds like things are getting better. I think that you are doing great :)

  4. Oh Molly I'm sorry, breastfeeding is so hard but I learned with Tyler don't beat yourself up. I saw a lactation specialist his first two months. Read as much as you can and I can lend you that book or whatever is helpful. If her weight gain is great/normal then I wouldn't worry too much, but pay attention to your intuitions. Food sensitivties could attribute too. Blah blah blah. Email me or call anytime. Do what you feel is best for both of you emotionally and physically 361-0434