I am breastfeeding my beautiful baby girl, who is such a good baby and I am so glad she is mine! I just love her to pieces. She is so much fun! So about my frustration... for the first 8 weeks Ahnika breast fed like a champ. But then for some reason she started only eating from one breast during a feeding and it didn't matter how hard I tried she wouldn't eat from the other breast. And she would get mad and freak out if I tried to get her to eat more. :( I would have to alternate breasts and be lopsided for the next few hours until she ate again. But at night if I was lucky I could get her to eat on both breasts and have a full feeding, which makes me happy when she does that cause it means she will sleep longer. Well this past week she has been fighting me and refusing to eat at all ugh. So I would think well maybe she isn't quite hungry enough to eat yet, then I would lay her down and she would act hungry and cry. So we would try the whole process again. But she would still fight me even though she was hungry. Finally she would latch on after I pretty much shoved my boob down her throat. Sorry that sounds awful. Anyway after she latched on she would relax and eat and I could get her to eat on both breasts. But each time she wanted to eat it was the same thing a big traumatic experience.
One night I just broke down and bawled because I felt rejected by my own child and it was like 3 in the morning so I was really tired. After I calmed down and was determined to get her to eat she latched on and then went back to bed. A few times when Jeb was home he would hold her head still so I could get my breast to her mouth and then she would finally latch on and realize that she did want to eat and start eating. Well after having Jeb hold her head a couple of times she started latching on by herself with out needing to be fought with. I don't think she liked him holding her head. Which I felt bad that we had to do that, he didn't hold her head real hard just enough that I could get her to latch on. I need 3 hands sometimes. I promise we aren't being mean parents, we are just trying to get her to eat. It's been about a week or so of this going on, But yesterday and today have been much better. She has actually been latching on without a fight, sometimes I can get her to eat on both sides without a problem but other times she refuses, so instead of fighting I figure she must have eaten enough. I have read that a baby can get a full feeding from one breast but it's important to offer both breast at each feeding. So that's what I do even if she refuses to eat more.
I am just glad she is over refusing to eat at all (at least I hope she is over it), I want to breastfeed her for at least a year. Jeb keeps telling me I'm doing a wonderful job, that I am a great mother and not to get frustrated. He is such a good husband, and I believe what he says but sometimes it is so hard not to get frustrated. Sometimes I would like to just give up and feed her a bottle, but I really don't want to give up yet she is only 3 well almost 4 months and I would really like her to receive breast milk a little longer. I hope this all makes sense. I feel like I've just been rambling.
If anyone has any suggestions/advice about breastfeeding I would love to hear it. Motherhood is so rewarding and I am so grateful for this opportunity I love my little girl so much! As I type she is laying by me falling asleep, she is so precious!!